In many homeschool families, dad works full-time and mom homeschools and may also work part-time or full-time. Yet, too often, as mom becomes more absorbed in homeschooling and the joys and challenges that brings, her world may become narrower. Little by little, mom and dad may start to drift apart, swallowed up by the demands on their time. If this has already happened to you, or you want to avoid letting that happen, there are steps you can take to keep your marriage healthy while homeschooling.
Put Your Marriage First
Your marriage should be first priority, before homeschooling your kids. Make sure that you and your spouse find time to spend together. Some couples prefer to have a regular date night scheduled. Others prefer to have time in the evening to unwind, talk, and watch a show or listen to a podcast together.
You and your spouse can determine how you most enjoy spending time together, but make it a priority. There will always be something else to do on the to do list. Make a time when you just stop and spend time together.
Simplify
In order to make more time to spend with one another, try to simplify your life as much as possible.
Instead of running to the grocery store, place an order for delivery to your home.
Declutter your house so it takes less time to clean and you have less “stuff” to take care of.
Find a homeschool curriculum that works for you and stick with it. Also, realize that the curriculum is just a suggestion; sometimes you won’t be able to complete everything you had planned to do, and that’s okay. Most public school teachers don’t finish an entire textbook in a year.
While joining extracurricular groups can be great for socializing and fun for you and the kids, try to limit the number of outside activities that you do. Taking part in too many activities can be overwhelming and make your life chaotic. Have a rule about how many extracurriculars you and the kids can sign up for at a time.
Have Healthy Routines for Your Family
The smoother your household and family can run, the more you will be able to carve out time with your spouse. Set about building good routines.
For instance, have chore lists for each child. Sure, in the beginning when you’re teaching your kids to do chores, the process can be time consuming . However, as they learn to do their chores, they will be a bigger help and take some of the household burden from you.
Likewise, as your children get older, you can gradually encourage them to do more of their homeschooling independently . Many homeschooled high schoolers do most of their curriculum entirely on their own. This relieves you of some of the homeschooling load and teaches your children good skills for the rest of their lives.
Share Jobs with Your Spouse
You’re not the only one raising kids, so make sure to ask for help from your spouse if he’s not already jumping in. The more he can help, the more you will have time for him.
One mom I know hates grocery shopping, but her husband loves it. He shops every week and often takes the kids with him, giving mom time alone to recharge and get things done.
My husband is more than happy to play with the kids and cook. This gives me time to complete my part-time work so on the weekend, I can spend more time with him.
The key is to find what works best for both of you. The more you work as a team, the more likely you can spend time together.
Final Thoughts
You may find yourself easily drawn into trying to complete your current list of things to do. After all, there is so much for a busy homeschool mom to do. But don’t lose sight of your spouse and your marriage. Long after the children are grown and gone to live on their own, you and your spouse will still be together. Take the time to make sure your relationship remains strong.
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